I can't stop playing it over again and again. Any advice guys? There's a difference between sex and kissing. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I kissed another guy when drunk but can't remember?! Shes Colombian and very fiery. Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. I kissed another guy while drunk. He cared less what families they belonged to if they worked in the same positions, they had the same contract rules to follow. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Yes Im addiction there are things called SUDs.. And for science-based tips for managing guilt, check out my book, Emotional First Aid. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. Houston, this team needs to identify then agree over what's causing it. Here are the frightening ways to know that he gave another girl a kiss ; 1. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. Seriously. Saying that, however, I note you wrote: The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls video were all shocked at how gentle and 'non-aggressive' female kissers were, in comparison to guys. His imagination could go haywire over that one. I think its interesting that you put in the innocent and the guilty kiss. If your husband *did* get wind of it thus realised you'd kept it secret from him - despite he told YOU when someone made a pass at HIM - he'd then have A NUMBER of major beefs with you: I dont know what else to do. I immediately felt totally ashamed after it happened and left the party. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to me, I can see you feel very passionate about infidelity, however, on this occassion I won't be taking your advice. Except with other truth-seekers. 4. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) Good luck. IAMHIM (person claiming to be an unregistered passer-by), Remind her of your good points. But I do have to state it or I'm failing to do this role properly as well as my innate compulsion to be unwaveringly socially and morally responsible - meaning, if you don't want to respond, don't. A SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. We've been together a lot of today for various reasons, we've talked a little but as of right now, officially I'm still "thinking things over." For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. I know he would forgive me but I don't want to deal with issue with him. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Are you sure all you did was kiss? Damn, my husband is such a good person and we were together for almost 7 years now. Not Opening Up To You Anymore If you both agreed not to see anyone else, how is that not exclusive? When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. Answer (1 of 7): As you have not mentioned your gender, i am assuming you are a girl. I still feel so guilty and I just don't know what to do. However most people don't have a commitment that SOULMATE has with her husband that they will be 100% Honest with each other NO MATTER WHAT! You might come to the conclusion that something is lacking in your primary relationship, and you might decide to break up with your partner and pursue the person whom you kissed while drunk. Because your significant other doesnt fully believe that you just kissed this person because you were intoxicated. Buster was in law school Buster Murdaugh, left, and his girlfriend Brooklynn White watch a video clip from Buster's brother Paul's phone in the double murder trial of Alex Murdaugh at the Colleton . Everyone is telling me not to say anything because it was so long ago and it never happened again, or will it ever. I'm 44 years old and I've been dating a 24 year old for 5 months. I guess it's the nature of the topic - emotive yet one of those Grey areas. She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. Thank you. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. No, if it's sensible debate, based on *facts* rather than wishful thinking, that's fine. If he forgave you, then it sounds like he accepted that it was a mistake, that you won't do it again and has moved on. Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. Not sure how anyone can say they're "certain" he doesn't need to know, given the fact that he made his own standards and expectations perfectly clear on that score, back when he himself was the 'victim' of a come-on. That's a long time for kissing. I was drunk but that is no excuse. You love your spouse and you want to do your best to be a good partner. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. instead of: (As you were), It happened to me,too last Jan.31,2016, and it happened again in the following days. Ive told her Im sorry, I wont let it happen again and Im sorry for being dishonest. There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. This feels huge to me. My husband wasnt home at the time. If, on the other hand, you kissed someone whom you knew or someone your significant other believes youve always liked, and then you confess that you kissed him or her, your actions could have major consequences for your relationship Why? Even so, you might find that you are still attracted to other people. I always prefer to know if something is going on than find out about it later, or worse, never find out at all (the idea of this chills me). female I felt disorientated. I work in hospitality, so I can't change departments, but I can change my shift pattern. :p. You're quite correct, though, I did forget the typical-forum rule of only ever responding with whatever would leave me super-popular, particularly amongst the most naive and dupe-able who 'can't tell' quite a lot. Then the accusations begin, which night go something like: Why on earth did you kiss _________? And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. Are you sure you didnt have sex with him/her? Should I tell him or just get on with my life and put this whole sorry mess behind me? ;-)), Back too Ya My Sistah from another mother!! Despite their passion during the kiss though, thestraight guys (quite predictably)all saythey still identified asstraight. He never says this so I knew it was something serious. Hang on because I'm sure there will be other people who believe differently from me. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? Why? I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. The Bedford man accused of killing another after an argument April 24, 2021, pleaded guilty Friday to third-degree murder, his attorney Dan Kiss said. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. I didnt hear from my piano teacher for at least two weeks after that. Im guessing that theres a good chance you would have gone all the way if the piano teacher had gone for it. Of course there would have to be a lot of transparency in the marriage there after. He's a nice guy and we get on, but I don't know how I'm gonna face him talk about normal work things. We were chatting when we realised the other woman was snoring. I wasn't there but news travelled fast and I knew about it through friends by the next morning. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. My piano instructor came over once a week, usually on a Saturday when my husband was home. But for me, it was. I have posted a vent and been waiting for your scathing reply. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Actually I really don't have any experience at all. Period. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. I wouldn't want him around the person. I was enjoying myself and loving the chats and laughs. Married woman slaps sleazebag's face and leaves. I worry I made huge mistakes in my life and that I am destined to life a "good" family life forever more, but never feel that amazing desire and lust and sexual attraction I don't feel for anyone else but this man. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). So it looks as if we're suddenly at crossed-purposes, then. 4 days ago. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! "He's a great kisser" what she said to me. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? I was dating thus guy for 6 months and he stopped calling and texting. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. I am NOT looking forward to spotting him in the corridor at workHOW EMBARRASSING!. Certainly, that's what I myself meant and expected you to quote Bienne as more or less echoing. You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: Your Drinking Behaviour. stop any contact (outside of work) immediately. You werent totally bombed out of your mind, so you realized what you did and you felt guilty about it. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. At least I'll know I've done my bit to the very best of my capability. We've not made it exclusive yet but we did agree to not see other people at the beginning. For starters, you've no way of knowing whether this other woman *was* genuinely asleep or whether she might gossip to someone who goes and gossips to someone else, etc.. Plus, you don't know what this bloke might choose to do or whom he might blurt it out to the next time he gets drunk (back and forth male posturing on a lads' night out, for example)! Personally I don't believe in marriage. Itachi, Lees theory can backfire, especially if the person really believes you are talking about someone else and then he/she finds out you are talking about someone that YOU did. I have to admit that by kissing this guy whom I liked, I did cheat on my husband. (That'll do me nicely! (SK, that award doesn't exist. People who are qualified to label themselves good don't keep secrets from the one person in the world they tacitly vowed never to keep secrets from, particularly when the information is the victim's right to know (in order to continue to emotionally protect themselves, particularly whenever their partner's showing they're currently unable to execute their duty of helping them do so 'right to know' because where there's a problem in the relationship as, with the mere aid of the pigpen gate-unlocker called alcohol, causes behaviour counter to the relationship's chances of continued success, then - AS a team - it takes both members' addressing it together for the solution/outcome to possess any real authenticity or permanent efficacy. (y) This of course over a year ago. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). Free weekly email, Insta, and more - > https://linktr.ee/monogamish_me. Fear holds you back. Better safe than sorry. I feel sorry for those with depression, mental illness, hangnails, bad hair, bad childhood memories, etc. Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. I remember saying 'no, no, this is bad' in the middle of it, and he said 'I know but I really like you and I have done for ages', and he kissed me again, but this time only for a second because I said ' I really can't do this, I have no excuse, I'm married and he's lovely, it's not like I'm unhappy, he's a good person' then he kinda just stroked my arm and said 'I know, your right, it's just I'm really attracted to you and couldn't not act on it, I'm sorry, you're right'. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. You confessed your sins. Login first We lived in a small town at the time, and it felt like avoiding this girl was nearly impossible. What if your husband ever found out? Turning off notifications, deleting messages, and hiding chat apps may all indicate secrecy. You just never, ever know. I stopped and said I couldn't kiss him anymore cause I was dating someone I really liked Am I a terrible person? And Brodie groped James. Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid: Healing Rejection, Guilt, Failure, and Other Everyday Hurts. Forget about it! The guilt may be strong because you doubt yourself right now and were surprised by your actions. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. Reviewed by Gary Drevitch. What if she sabotages the relationship through guilt? It sounds simple, but if you think you know how to apologize effectively, you are likely wrong. You'll have to accept it, face up to it, and put it behind you. Shes said thats it. Talk to her about it and explain to her how it hurt you to see them kissing. Scopes: okay, although the whole point of forums is [1] that they're anonymous and [2] people's problems aren't ever remotely unique enough for the poster not to potentially be literally from anywhere in the world thus unidentifiable. What are you going to do, then? But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. (Ta-daaaa!) That's alright, that's a common mistake. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A Why would you want to do that? When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission, which supports our community. I had a kind of aha reaction because I realized I was attracted to him. All night I chatted and joked with a group of maybe 10 people, mostly women. You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. Things have gone a fair way beyond ideal but you aren't a silly school girl after your first taste of wine. Houston, we have a problem. Yesterday night we went out to drink. I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. Youre not homosexual until youre actually attracted to dudes., MORE : Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, MORE : These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Doctor explains why some men faint or get nosebleeds when they get an erection, This is the number of sexual partners the average Brit has had, Mum in coven manifests orgasms and schedules sex magick with husband, Post-pill clarity: I came off contraception and didnt fancy my partner anymore, How I Do It: Its empowering to have a guy over and pleasure myself afterwards, follow-up video of straight girls kissing other girls for the first time, Bella Thorne reveals she is bisexual by kissing a girl in surprise Snapchat, These are the UKs most powerful LGBT people, Do not sell or share my personal information. I'd be obsessed with it. For starters, your husband, even when supposedly immature, didn't kiss HER. I feel so bad since then. In that sort of scenario, where the kiss (or any intimate contact) lingers for more than half a second - or, put more simply, isn't the kind you'd feel comfortable giving/receiving from your own parent or grandparent - it's an opening of the door, whether or not you subsequently recover your senses and slam it shut again. :-) I mean, *I* don't mind if your relationship continues slowly but surely remaining on the skids, do I. Try-it-on, cheating sleazebag makes pass at loyally-married woman; But there's a psychological ingredient missing as naturally affects the optimum biological conditions You're not attracted to him? You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. Have another little thinkipoos (with or without a little drinkipoos). Your choice, as ever. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. Make lemonade out of them. Your guilt is your punishment. Sentiment accepted, though. Guess what his response was? Either way, I've noted your comments, I've already decided what I am going to do, and I'll deal with the consequences, whatever they might be. Other than that, I've said everything that needs saying soyou lot carry on if you want, but I'm sat back, counting the money. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. We kissed for maybe 5 minutes, or maybe less, I don't know. We all should know by now that alcohol affects our judgment and that it can make us less inhibited and cause us to behave in ways in which we never would behave while sober. However one night a boy kissed me and I kissed him back. What!! Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. I made that call today and will move from lates to early starting Monday 16th feb. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 months and I feel so guilty. I think it is a better idea for both of you good luck.do share progress. Yes it hurts.. If he is like me, its a choice. It takes to heal the wounded trust again. :-)), SOULMATE: Meant as in the universe of sisterhood (wrongly) To award Biggest B*lls on the Block Award -comment never was to imply same race- so on behalf of the Academy I accept :), (Good stuff. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. "I'm not sure if you are trying to be helpful, or just entertaining yourself with your responses." That was crazy' and other awkward things. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. The straight women in the girls-french kiss-girls videowere all shocked at how gentle and non-aggressive female kissers were, in comparison to guys. :-*. female :), Ah cawlled *you* 'sistah', dun't mean Ah iz wurn too, 'kayyy, shugah? A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. So - no - if I feel like entertaining myself, I only have to think of my favourite joke about, what do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? Wouldn't you? Truth-seekers are never popular. Not just, here's your marriage license good luck. When I woke up yesterday I still felt drunk but the reality of what happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. / Dyathinkhesaurus? I think you already knew what you wanted to do, your husband was not home, saw an opportunity, and wanted to use being drunk as a cover story. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). Tl;dr: why do I feel guilty after ending things with a guy who grabbed my ass during our first kiss? He has morals. I don't know why I need that so much, but I do. If you kissed a stranger, your significant other might just react by laughing or by telling you its okay. Food for thought, Michelle Langley. , By entering this site you declare Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. It happened two days ago. There is more going on. I rather throw it all out in the openbe honestapologize for my mistakeand be ready for the consequences. So she left after a couple of replies. I didnt tell him. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. If I some how knew which thread to follow to I'd go. If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. But, I did find out that I was attracted to my piano teacher. Its more like an excuse for cheating. Guilt protects our relationships. It was just a kiss. Is kissing someone else when drunk cheating? What is he supposed to do with this information? Sorry Soulmate I know I need to stop,but it's hard to. Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . Hey all. I practise what I preach, me. He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. I have to be honest, I have never once had the urge to visit America. For the last few years we have been trying for a baby and are currently going through tests to try find out why it's not happening. SOULMATE NO URGE :-8 I'm sensing nose in the air LOL You must see The Grand Canyon, New York- Theater/Art so much raw talent, As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. After all, if you're still berating yourself for what you did, it won't matter whether or not your partner has totally forgiven you. I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my, Hurt my ex girlfriend, feel guilty and don't know what to do. If he's like meI can forgive the actbut not the lying. (Got me cracked) 24 No matter how much we insist that "it's all good, bro, we're like, totally homies!", we don't mean it, not really. I believe in complete honesty, 100%. Because guilt typically occurs in "micro-bursts" of brief signals, we often underestimate the rather significant role it plays in our daily lives. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. Loyal Girl sorry to hear about your situation. But now he has begun university and I trust him with everything but I keep thinking of what I did. So your crop had already been carrying a blight, hadn't it. He doesn't deserve to be hurt by this. I feel sorry for the visually impaired but that doesn't mean I want a blind person flying my airplane and my compassion won't make the flight any safer. At least I understood why our marriage failed and no further closure was needed. I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. What if they were married? find me on and follow me on. She had gone to bed. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. I also agree with SUSIEDQQ that is won't be the worse thing that will ever happen to her or her marriage. Press J to jump to the feed. Sorry, you two, I'm not ignoring you, just super-super-busy at the mo. LGBTYouTube stars Bria Kam and Chrissy Chambers (BriaAndChrissy) have released a videoexploring what its like for straight guys to kiss other men for the first time.

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